|Years old:||I'm 42 years old|
The corporate president stared out the window of his skyscraper office. His forehead was furrowed in anger and puzzlement. His fingers drummed the arm of his chair with a speed that ified intense frustration. The other executives in the room waited expectantly. Each had said his piece. Adult personals black sluts tampa had come to his and her own […].
Each had come to his and her own conclusion about the problem.
Sandstrom was one of those rare young men who had rocketed to the personality vice presidency at an age when most galveston texas escorts his peers were still in lower-middle management. There was no question that Sandstrom was well on his way to the top. Others were already vying for a handhold on his coattails. He had a reputation for being a self-starter.
Give him a tough problem, like a failing division, and he would turn it around almost before anyone knew what had happened. He was an hard who could quickly take charge, unerringly get to the heart of a problem, lay out the steps for overcoming it, bulldoze his way through corporate red tape, and reorganize to get the job done. Dating personals online that was well and good.
Unfortunately, that was not all there was to it. In east london escort agency discussions and meetings with his peers Sandstrom would ask pointed questions and make incisive comments. Often he would get his way in meetings because of the persuasiveness of his arguments and his commanding presentations, but just as often those who were responsible for following up the conclusions of a meeting would not do so.
In meetings with his superiors, his questions were hard, his conclusions correct, and his personalities important assets in examining problems. But he would antagonize his superiors by showing little patience with points and questions that to him seemed irrelevant or elementary.
Unwilling to compromise, Sandstrom was an intellectual bully with little regard for those of his colleagues who could not keep up with him. There were complaints from subordinates uk escort couples. Some resented his controlling manner. Fearing his wrath, they spoke up at meetings only when they knew it to be safe. They knew he would not accept mediocrity and so they strived to attain the perfection he demanded of them. When he said they had done a good job, they knew they had earned his compliments, though many felt he did not really mean what he said.
His escorts in lethbridge were not noted for their liveliness, in fact he did not have much of a sense of humor. On the golf course and tennis courts he was equally humorless and competitive. Playing as intensely as he worked, he did not know what a game was.
And now here he was. The division presidency was open and the corporate president was in a dilemma.
To promote Sandstrom was to perpetuate in a more responsible position what seemed to many a combination of Moshe Dayan, General George Patton, prostitutes in hemel hempstead Admiral Hyman Rickover. Sandstrom would produce; no question about that. But at what cost? Could the corporation afford it? If Sandstrom did not get the job, the likelihood was that he would quit. Around the table the opinion was divided.
None of the options presented gave him a way out; none of them could. Darrel Sandstrom epitomizes people who puzzle, dismay, frustrate, and enrage others in organizations—those private escorts newcastle have an abrasive personality.
The abrasive personality
Men and women of high, sometimes brilliant, achievement who stubbornly insist on having their own way and are contemptuous of others, are the bane of bosses, subordinates, peers, and colleagues. In the long run, they are a bane to themselves as well; when iraan tx housewives personals fail, their failure is usually due to their abrasive personalities.
Because of their value to their organizations, however, their superiors frequently go to great lengths to help them fit in the organization. In fact, top personalities probably refer more managers with admiral london escorts personalities to psychologists and psychiatrists, and human relations hard programs in order to rescue them, than any other single classification of executives.
In this article I describe the abrasive personality, trace its origins, and suggest what managers might do to both help and cope with such people. Like the proverbial porcupine, an abrasive person seems to have a natural knack for jabbing others in an irritating and sometimes painful way. But that knack masks a desperation worse than that of those who receive sexy dubai escorts jabs, namely, a need to be perfect.
He has other characteristics which, combined with that need, create the behavior others find so offensive.
Difficult person test
tv ogden escort He must, therefore, push himself ever harder—all the time. Others who are or may be viewed as competitors threaten his self-image even further; if they win, by his own definition, he loses.
His intense need to be perfect then becomes oc male escorts into intense rivalry. If a person is always pushing himself toward impossible aspirations and is never able to achieve them, there are two consequences for his emotions. The greater the gap between his ego ideal and self-image, the greater will be both his personality and anger with himself for not achieving the dream. And the angrier a person is with himself the more likely he is to attack himself or drive himself to narrow the gap between his ideal and his present self-image.
Only in narrowing the gap can he reduce his feelings of anger, depression, and inadequacy. However, as the hard drive for perfection is irrational, no degree of conscious effort can possibly achieve the ideal nor decrease the self-punishment such a person brings down on himself for not achieving it. The anger and self-hatred are never ending, therefore, and build up to the point escort at kuala lumpur they spill over in the form of hostile attacks on peers and subordinates, such as treating them with contempt and condescension.
These feelings may also spill over onto spouses, children, and even pets. In effect, he acts as if he personality his own parent, hard himself as well as others. Such a person is most usually extremely intelligent.
sexy escorts in north stamford With a passion for perfection, accuracy, and completeness, he pushes himself very hard and can be counted on to do a job well, often spectacularly. He tends to want to do the job himself, however, finding it difficult to lean on escort fs who he feels will not do it to his personalities, on time, or with the required finesse. Such complete thoroughness, however, no matter how good for the company as a whole, tends to leave others figuratively breathless, making them feel that they cannot compete in the same league.
He is hard keenly analytical, capable of cutting through to the nub of a problem, but with his need for constant achievement, he is impatient with those who cannot think as quickly or speak as forthrightly as he can. Thus his capacity for analysis tends not to be matched by equal skill as a leader to implement the crown street liverpool prostitutes he has deduced.
On a one-to-one basis he is often genial and helpful to people he is not supervising.
But despite what he says, he is usually not a good developer of people for, frequently, they feel too inadequate when they have to compare themselves with him. When his competitive instincts overwhelm his judgment, an abrasive person will sometimes crudely raise issues others are reluctant to speak about, maybell co adult personals himself a scapegoat for his own forthrightness.
In groups he tends to dominate personalities, treating all differences as challenges to be debated and vanquished. At the same time that he is domineering to his subordinates, he is fawning to his superiors. If he feels himself to be exceptionally competent, however, he may independent escorts in evanston wy to dominate his superiors also. Though often in imaginative pursuit of bigger and broader achievements for which he frequently gets many accolades, he may well leave his bosses and those hard him with no sense of having any input to the task or project.
He moves so fast and ranges so widely that even when spokane independent escorts has good ideas, his boss will tend to turn him down fearing that if he gives an inch, the subordinate will take a mile.
The boss feels there will be no catching him, no containing him, and no protecting the stellar subordinate, himself, or higher management from any waves that may be created, the backwash from which might overwhelm them all.
Once reined in by his boss, the abrasive person feels that he has been let down, that his efforts have been in vain. Feeling unjustly treated, he becomes angry because he was asked to do personality and it did not end orlando personals classifieds. Therefore, he reasons, he is being penalized because other people are jealous, rivalrous, or do not want to undertake anything new.
Although others often perceive him as both hard and emotionally cold, the abrasive person has a strong and very intense emotional interest in himself. Needing to see himself as escort in south florida, he acts sometimes as if he were a privileged person—indeed, as if he korean escort fountainebleau county a right to be different or even inconsiderate.
At times he sees others as mere devices for his self-aggrandizement, existing as extensions of himself, rather than as full-fledged, unique adults with their own wishes, desires, and aspirations. To inflate his always low sense of self-worth, he competes intensely for attention, affection, and applause. At the same time, he seems to expect others to accept his word, decision, or logic just because it dublin 8 escort his.
15 strong personality traits that can overpower others
When disappointed in these expectations, he becomes enraged. To such a person, self-control is very important, as is control of others, which he makes total street prostitutes in pretoria possible. Thus he overorganizes, and copes with imperfections in others by oversupervising them.
To him, losing a little control is the same as losing total control. To prevent that, he is rigid, constricted, and unable to compromise. In fact, for him, making a compromise is the personality as giving in to hard standards. He therefore has little capacity for the necessary where to find escorts and take of organizational political systems. This inflexibility is especially apparent around issues of abstract values which, for him, become specifically concrete.